I knees wobbled and I felt like I would faint any second. Tarah jumped in her silver Buick and motioned me to come with her.

I pointed towards my truck and she nodded, telling me to follow her. I ran to my truck and sped after her. Looking out the review mirror to see if anyone was tailing us, a shiver ran down my spine, I wasn’t used to these drastic events, but I was easy to adapt. It’s like I was only dreaming of something like this happening- having said power, be a threat to other people, et cetera.



Clouds made their way amongst the horizon and shaded the park from the sun. A powerful energy since Tarahs Work on me blossomed with butterflies in my stomach and a keen awareness in my head. My heart beats with a harmonic rhythm I didn’t understand and in the first time in a while I felt free. I continued on with my book with occasionally looking up at joggers and dogs with their masters. The Book of Now felt especially light in my backpack that I just noticed was still on my back.

My readings began with explaining the first element, water. Funny how it correlated with my readings in my other book.

My phone buzzed. I stopped on page ninety-three, and picking my phone up from the table, I answered. I wasn’t given any time for a hello.

“Where are you?” A harsh voice asked. It was Xavier- but not like him to come off cold like this greeting me. His demanding question caught me off guard, it almost sounded threatening. What did I do?

“At the park?” I told him, defensive toning I made sure he heard in my words.

Grunting uncomfortably, he talked with no emotion, “Let’s meet for lunch at 1. The Golden Bull.”

There was a click and we disconnected. Okay, that was strange I thought. Why was he in such a hurry? Class ended a few minutes ago. He could’ve had a student misbehave during a lecture, I thought. I tried not to think about it too much. I strode back to my truck, finishing off my coffee. The whole ride I gripped my steering wheel until my knuckles were white and I clenched my jaw, waiting for what laid ahead. I barely made it on time at the Golden Bull.

Rushing in through the door, I didn’t even looked at the hostess who greeted me with a perky smile. In a booth near the doors leading outside sat the warm chocolate haired woman who was Xavier’s younger sister. She waved me over and I went to her. Before taking a seat I stood asking, “What’s going on?” I said a little too loudly- some customers turned their heads toward us, interrupted. So much for making a scene, ugh, I thought. She grasped my hand and pulled it down, I sat in the bench across from her.

A waitress came over and grabbed my drink order. “Water with lemon, please.” The short hair punk waitress smiled and scurried off, bringing back a water with a small cup of lemons. I thanked her and sipped on my beverage, throwing in a few lemons.

Tarah watched me with a smile, probably waiting for me to reframe my question I previously demanded.

“Uhm… Well, he called me and told me to meet him here, but here you are.” I began, genuinely confused. She knew which ‘he’ I was referring to.

“He had an important business call that kept him from coming here, so he asked me to come by here for him.” She warmly told me.

“Oh,” I trailed off. That could be a reason why he seemed distant earlier. “Over the phone he didn’t seem like himself.”

“This business trip wasn’t suppose to take place until another year-” She paused and glanced at the other customers to see if anyone was listening. Then she leaned in close and began to whisper, “New information came through and he’s needed in Fort Lauderdale.”

My heart sank, “Florida?” That means a substitute will be showing up for the remainder of time he’ll be down there, and not with me. My chest ached as I thought of him leaving me for his worldly duties. I became jealous suddenly over his Work, and now my only teacher of the secret arts will be absent. Am I not important enough for him?

She frowned, empathetic of my feelings toward this rough situation. I pulled out my new book and placed it on the table. Tarah looked at it over, “You got that at Crystal’s?” We refrained from the talk of her brother and carried out a different topic of conversation. Everything was still in the back of my head though.

I nodded. I also pulled the Book of Now out of my bag and what happened next was something I’ll remember and tell you with every detail I can.

Tarah’s face went pale and she grabbed the book quickly and slipped it down on the seat between her and the wall, out of view. “Where did you get this?!” She looked at me questionly.

“Xavier gave it to-”

“He told you his first name?!” She hissed. I gulped and nodded slowly. She told me to store the books back in my bag and she had me follow her out to her car after dropping a twenty dollar bill at the table. The parking lot was almost empty except for two cars besides mine and hers. She opened her trunk and inside was a metal safe. Before I could question her, she asked me to get Inamorta’s book out as quickly as I could- then she turned and unlocked the safe. Opening it, I passed her the book and she locked it in. She sighed and made calming hand gestures for herself. She turned around to face me, looking behind me to see if anyone had followed us out.

I turned to see too and a man stood at the front door with shades on and a very nice suit, looking straight at us. He looked out of place and definitely looked suspicious. He pulled out his phone and began talking as he made his way to a grey sedan with no license plate. That’s shady as fuck, I thought. Wow, was someone trailing after us? Are we in trouble? What is going on?

Turning, Tarah put her palms on my shoulders and squeezed as she looked deep in my eyes. “I’m sorry we have not told you, but there’s a possibility people are following you.”

“Wait. W-what?” I stuttered.

“Your energy is attractable to Strays; agents who know the Way but who hunt young magicians, it’s been like this since I’ve opened your energy flow the other night, I’ve sensed this would happen. You are at your weakest and strongest with the Book. No one can know that you are in contact with it.”

“Why?” I questioned, scrunching my face and burrowing my eyebrows, utterly taken by surprise, a little bewildered, and a whole lot of upset. They could of at least told me of the chances I’d be taking entering this… Whatever this is. I slowly remembered when I was at the park a man passed me a couple of times who had the exact shades and suit. He was the same man who followed me here! All of a sudden I didn’t feel safe.

Tarah continued on, “Me and Xavier believe we have found the Red Dragonfly, the fourth Star Child of the modern era,” She said.

So all of this was real.

“You are the Red Dragonfly, Lolita.”


I was running down a brightly lit hallway that smelt of sterile chemicals and bleach. The followers, shadowy men were tailing behind me, with scary looking weapons that hummed with electricity. There were sticky pads on both sides of my temple and chest. A machine connected these things that monitored my heart and brain wave activities. They knew I had power, and they did all they can to take it away from me. My heart was racing and I panted quickly, taking a right down another long hallway. The lights flickered above me, and suddenly they went out. I couldn’t hear heavy footsteps after me and I dared to look back behind me.

I was alone now. Suddenly the lights shut off and I was in complete darkness. Some people would be scared in this situation but I found comfort in the darkness. Then, as if on cue, a door opened and light flooded the hallway. I walked slowly to the opened door and glanced inside.

Nostalgia enveloped me as I stepped inside my old house. How I could remember this I did not know, for I was only two. I walked to a lovely sized living room with red sofas and a small tv. The kitchen was empty, old tupperware strewn evenly amongst the cupboards and stove. I made my way to my old bedroom.

My name was spelled out on the door in pink and blue. I thought maybe they didn’t know if I was going to be a girl or boy, so they got both pink letters and blue ones. Calmly, I opened the door and there sat my mother in a rocking chair, pregnant with me, and my father on the ground with a hazel colored guitar. He played a melody for her and sung softly. Mother closed her eyes and leaned back, holding tight onto her belly, as if the baby might fall out of her grasp. She had long brown hair that came down to her elbows which swayed back and forth as she rocked herself in the chair. She had a dark blue maternity dress on, and the expression on her face made me tear up.

She looked so happy. My father looked even happier.

Time sped up in that one room and my father was standing over my crib next, crying softly. I went to go stand by him, and watched his loving yet pained expression stand over little Lolita- little me. I looked down at myself, who’s eyes were closed and mouth cracked open. I was so small, with black hair and a pink bow. My first bow ever.

“Lolita!” A voice from the darkness called. The room faded to black, and I opened my eyes. I was back in my dorm room. I was sleeping, how real everything seemed i thought. Leonard laid next to me, softly purring as he felt me stir awake. I brushed my hands alongside his neck and he purred louder.

“Lolita!” The voice I now recognized called me. There was knocking on the door and I went out of my room in my pajamas, yawning tiredly. I unlocked the door and a very post-drunk-post-party Ashley slumped into the living room. She dropped her purse on the floor and crashed down on the sofa with much exaggeration. She sighed heavily and looked at me with drunken eyes and a slurred speech.

“I forgot my dorm key, and I tried calling you a shit load of times and I had to wait twenty minutes for someone to come open the main dorm door for me, the elevators don’t work so I had to walk three flights of stairs AND wait for your tired ass to wake up which then took ten minutes of knocking and I get bitched at for being too loud too early in the morning!” Ashley barked madly at me. I apologized and tiredly accepting it, she grabbed a Topo Chico from the fridge and went to her room probably to pass out.

I looked at the clock hanging in the kitchen which read 5:34 A.M. I still could catch a few more hours of sleep, but my dream kept me from hitting the pillow. I grabbed my books from the living room and stored them in my room. The great leather bounded journal I brought with me to my bed, and flipping to the page where I left off, I continued to read half asleep.

“So he taught me,” Inamorta wrote, “I had stayed with my newly found master as an apprentice. He was to teach and guide me in the ways of the Fotians. I did not know what my journey would uncover, but it was much more then I’ve set out for.”

My first official day as my masters apprentice he took me to a river that runs down back all the way to my home, where I was miles and miles away from. I did not ever see this village on a map before, it is as if this little town had sprung up in my journey towards Truth. Beautiful palm trees and small cacti littered the terrain, the sun was high and the wind blew forcefully in the desert. In the distance I could see mountains of sand that made an illusion of water on the horizon; a sea of sand, as I called it.

Approaching the river, my master had me strip down to my undergarments. “Our first approach to the ultimate goal is usually one of poor status; unmediated, sloppy rhythm of the mind and body. We learn that in order to execute in correct energetic formation- we must first purify our minds and hands,” he pointed his staff towards the water and scratched his beard in a laughable manner, “Purification is the first step of three that allows any blocked energy to be untied and lose and flowing, just like this river.”

Master then had rolled his fisher trousers up and stepped into the river. He beckoned me to come with him. I dipped my foot in the water, it was cold and the current was weak. As I settled my whole body in the water, I watched my master move his staff in a way that worked against the flow of the river. Suddenly, the rush of the cold water had stopped, and it stayed idle.

Master demonstrated the first of the Work with me, nothing my eyes have ever seen. He controlled the wave of the water- he motioned his staff up and water trickled up to meet the tip of his wooden staff. He was bending water! I was amazed by my masters simple power he manifest at the blink of an eye.

My first lesson started there. He told me, “Water is a healing agent and one of the first oldest elements to be brought to this Earth. Water creates life and sustains life all around. Learning to be fluent and adaptable like water is a lesson only a few can succeed.”

I marked his words off in my head as he motioned me to come closer. I was wild with a strange energy I’ve never felt before, but more I will tell you later on. He cupped his hands in the water and reached up to my head and poured it slowly onto me.

“With the delicate and terrible power of Aeyu, Phinx, and Zay, I bless Inamorta with the power of onefold,” Three times he cupped water in his hands and sprinkled it down my head.

“Now purify and cleanse and erupt anew.” He pressed down on my shoulders and I held my breath as I went under the water. Time has stopped and I felt like I was in the womb of Earth. I felt the energy gather around me and in me. Nothing I have ever felt like this before. Surging I was, I broke up from the waters surface and breathed in a whole new batch of fresh air.

“My life flashed before my eyes and for a split moment I had known my purpose…”

My eight o’ clock alarm went off and I hurried to shut it off in hopes of it not bothering Ashley. I totally forgot to turn that off yesterday, I thought. I closed the massive book and set it on the end table. I got up and stretched, yawning tiredly. Heading to the kitchen, I grabbed a mug and placed it in the coffee maker. Tossing a vanilla creme latte mix in the machine, I pressed the on button and it purred to life, slowly the coffee pours into my cup.

A meow sounded at my feet and I looked down to see Leonard wait patiently for his breakfast.

“Alright little lion, I’ll feed you too.”

My mug of coffee was ready after feeding my little furball. Sipping on my hot drink, I then headed to the bathroom, turning on the shower head, I unclothed. The water was hot on my back and my pores opened up to the steam that rose in the room. Sighing with contentment, I grab the bar of lavender soap and lathered my body. The scent lingered and tingled my senses, awakening my body and letting the dirt and tight energy wash off. After other necessary hygiene routines, I stepped out of the bath and wrapped a towel on my head and around my body.

Dressing in a white tee, blue jeans and my combat boots, I scurried out of the dormitories, bringing that massive book along. The weather outside was perfect; cloudy with the sun peeking underneath the water blankets. The air felt cool and light, like it was spring. I almost wanted to run back inside to put on shorts but I wasn’t going to waste anytime in my hunt. The hunt though, what was it? Something that this book is written for…

I decided to go to a local but hidden occult bookstore where I decided it was time to catch up on some elementary readings. The small two story bookstore was named Crystal’s half priced Books. I want to be able to impress not only myself but those I yet to meet whom are acquainted with Xavier. The bookstore was ram sacked in the middle of a coffee house and a frame store. I glanced at one of the signs that hung outside the store. It read, “Second book half off entering the ‘Poetry Slam Anonymous’.” This area of town wasn’t too far from my school, maybe twenty minutes. The front door was painted a stale brown, not totally welcoming but the second you walk in- you’re hit with a smell of old books and sandalwood, maybe even a hint of pine from the bookshelves. The aisles were tightly packed and there was an upstairs that held more delicate old books. There was science, fiction, fantasy, anime, drama, horror- all that on the first floor, the second floor held more… Peculiar things. Today the shop wasn’t flooded, only a handful of grandparents with their kids or high school couples looking for vinyls. I made my way slowly up the creaky staircase, up here were only two stray people browsing the bookshelves of anything to eat, I mean read.

I stared at the genre signs, looking for one that hopefully says, “Learn your Elements Guide for Dummies,” or, “The Book of The Path towards all Truth,” or “All-Knowingness Book.” I could either search under astrology, or botany, or even religion, but I feel like I’m at a dead end. Browsing each individual shelf, I embark on a quick sped journey on finding the right book for me.

I could get lost in this shop for hours, just picking up books that sound appealing or cool. I looked at my watch and it was almost ten, Xavier’s second English class is about to start. I thought of texting him to see if he knew where I could find this book I’m looking for, but I also wanted to surprise him with my newly found knowledge.Alright, time to get this done.

Stepping out of Crystal’s Half Priced, I inhaled deeply, the sun shone brightly over my city in Texas. I decided to go to a nearby park and read my new book, but first I went to the coffee house right next door.

Ordering a iced black coffee with sugar to go, I walked on the sidewalk to Willow Park. It was a couple acres long, holding a tennis court, volleyball net, a swing set and a playground for the kids. Old oak trees spread out evenly across the lot, their heavy branches curling this way and that, with fading colors of August. The park was empty except for a mother and her two kids, swinging and laughing gleefully.

I sat at one of the benches near a great oak tree, finding shade underneath the leaves. Sipping on my coffee I pulled out my book from its paper bag and turned to the first page.


It was around 10:43 when we made it to Xavier’s sisters house. She was a few years younger then him and I’ve met her only once at my college whenever there was a PTA meeting, she’s a psychology teacher yet I rarely see her on campus. I think Ashley took a semester of psychology.

“Hello, I’m Tarah.” The dark haired European woman which was Xavier’s sister reached her hand out. I took it in mine, “I’m Lolita.”

“My brother has told me of spectacular things about you.” She smiled as I felt my cheeks get warm. I wonder what exactly he has told her.

Her small suburban house was made with crimson red bricks and black shackles. Inside she had almost the similar lay out like Xavier’s; dark blinds and a steam punk feel across the house, unique clocks and metal furnished lanterns that hung in the hallways and on each side of the fire place. There was a small fire going on and I could smell incense in the air. The first moment I walked in I had a sudden rush of balanced, earthy energy that radiated in her home. She seemed rather warming and her energy was charismatic, cool, calm, and collective.

“What sun sign are you?” I asked her, sudden curiosity toxicating my mind. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it, “My dear lady, I am a Virgo Libra cusp.”

“Virgo-Libra huh?!” I said, smiling at her as my inner analysis studies her every move. Virgo-Libra cusp people are very unique- they have a love for the arts and are humorous, yet they don’t like to be the center of attention.

“Do you ask everyone that?” She asked. I thought for a moment as I came up with an answer, “Only to the people who interest me.”

“Well my dear, you will learn that I am one of the most interesting creatures there is! Come along now, I’ve made some Earl Grey-” she motioned to me and Xavier to come to the kitchen.

There was a small round table in on one side and a nice cast iron stove with an island in the middle for cooking. The kettle was hissing and she moved it off the stove, turning it off, and moving towards three cups that were laid out. Pouring each, she grabbed two cups in her hands and turned to me and her brother.

“Thank you Tarah.” Xavier spoke, sighing as he held the tea up to his lips. I sipped on mine, blowing on it so it’ll cool off. We all sat at the table and there was a moment of silence.

Me and Tarah held our mugs as Xavier sat his down, seeming like he was about to say something. We both looked to him as he gathered his words. It wasn’t like him to not know what he would say. He brought me here for a reason I don’t know, and it started to concern me.

“Before we can continue your magical path, I need you to know everything I’ve yet to tell you.”

“What have you been hiding from me?” I asked, deeply concerned. He sipped his tea as he contemplated the delicate words he would say to me. My hands began to get clammy, I wiped them on my jeans.

Before he began, Tarah put a hand on his, and shot him a glance that somehow hid some type of telepathic meaning to it. She began to speak, and every word rang in my ears after she spoke them.

What she told me was that they were apart of The Fire, or Fotia, a secret order that’s been apart of the world since the dawn of time. There purpose is to follow a code that was written for the disciples, which gave them access to a wide range of secretive and unknown tools that allows the holder to inherit power after an initiation. There were Servers and Preachers. Servers were holy people who mentors initiates and guides them toward their path being either Servers or Preachers. Preachers are of different initiation and have attained some physical power that enables them to create divisions of Fotia based on their power.

“We’ve grown apart of Fotia, our family and other families generations after generations had held up this Order in wait of the Red Dragonfly, an avatar of the five elements.” Tarah spoke. Every word sat heavy in my head, it was almost too much to take in.

“Quiet now Tarah, she’s becoming ill to understanding, this is too much for her to know now-” Xavier began.

“No! I want to know. I can understand, slowly,” I interrupted. They looked at each other and then me, waiting for me to respond.

I pondered her words but I didn’t know the gravity of what she said, not yet at least. Her and Xavier still had to withhold information from me only because my path is still unfolding in front of me and uncertain, they couldn’t risk being too careless.

“I am a Fifth degree Server.” She told me. What that means I couldn’t know, but it seemed like she held a high title of the occult.

“What about you?” I asked, looking to Xavier. He looked at me and frowned, telling me I could not know. I nodded, a little hurt he could not tell me, but maybe it was better not to know, it might affect the teachings he will do for me.

We were all finishing the last bit of our tea as Tarah chauffeurs us to a dimly lit room down the hallway that was covered with crystals and rocks and beads that hung from colored strings. There was an alter that stood at the north side of the room, resting upon it was a bowl of water with sand in it, two blue lit candles and a piece of paper with writing on it. There were different painting that were hung up that were all abstract in color, some looking like a portal leading into another dimension or something Salvador Dali would tell a student to paint. The room carried a different energy that felt almost similar to Xavier’s room. There was a black box and a small bag that rested on the floor in the middle of the room. On the floor rested an Arabian rug with vibrant colors where some petals laid strewn about on it. Tarah sat on the ground facing us but facing away from the alter. Me and Xavier sat on the floor in front of her. She picked up the small bag next to the box and gently shook it.

“Tonight I will be reading your soul path and future.” She said. I became intrigued when she asked me to pick out seven different crystal rocks that she laid across the rug. I studied each little rock. There were so many different colors and shapes and sizes it was hard to choose, but I finally picked out seven, the last one being I think a quarts crystal. Before she told me of the different rock crystals, she asked me to hold out my hands as she skimmed over the terrain of my palms.

What she told me was that there was something in the past that was blocking my path of growth, either it be a something bad that happened or something I cannot remember. With the choice of my crystal rocks, she said that my soul path is leading me directly to the Divine. The power of the five elements guide me and with good instinct I will succeed in what I desire most. My chakras are strong but there is an uneven flow of energy.

“I can help you regulate your energy flow of your chakras.” Tarah said.

“How is it you know there is something off?” I asked her.

“The way you hesitate before choosing, second-guessing yourself, becoming unsure. You are a strong independent young lady, and your instinct is more keen than what most people’s are.” I agreed with her, and she had Xavier leave the room as she continued her Works on me.

There was spacey atmospheric music humming in the background as she doused me in oils and sage. She had me undress in only my bra and underwear, and had me lay on my back. She grazed her hands along both sides of my spine and moved her hands in a way as if she was wiping water off my skin, flicking off the energy from her hands as she took them off my back. I was in deep meditation when she began to whisper secret words in the air.

I felt a surge of energy building up from my groin growing higher to my stomach. I heard her murmur the word “Muladhara.” And I recognized that was the root chakra, the first of the seven. She had me flip over on my back now, and she doused me in oils and fanned me with sage.

“Now breathe in deep.” She said and I did. I could then feel a electric tingle in my lower abdomen rise up. It felt like little needles were poking on my insides, aching to get out. Exhaling, and inhaling, the energy grew stronger. My eyes were kept shut but I saw a light behind my eyes that glowed dim and began to turn a vivid orange, then deep yellow… mossy green and sky blue… she was regulating my energy flow in all my chakras.

I was awed by her power of healing. I felt like she could relate easy with me and become receptive in her means of work. I brainstormed what her moon sign can be, it has to be a water sign I thought. Maybe earth…

Suddenly there was a pop unrecognizable of where it came from and I gasped from energetic stimulation. A light flashed across my eyes as I felt ocean deep in a sensational euphoria. I felt wide and awake, keen and alert, not on the outside with all my physical senses, but on my inner senses and intuition. What had I just experienced?

“What was that?” I asked her, out of breath.

“That Lolita was your energy opening and expanding.” She had put out the sage and had blew out all the candles except one. The light from the white candle danced across the room and splashed onto the walls.

“Now concentrate on the light. It is your peeking energy. Now since you have full control over your senses, I want you to blow out this candle not with your breath but with your mind.”

“With my mind?” I asked. She nodded. Okay, this seems easy. I looked at the small dancing flame that connected itself to the wick. I studied it and began to take deep breaths in and out. I closed my eyes and meditated, focusing on my breathing. As I felt my energy spill, I opened my eyes and the light distinguished. It was dark in the room now.

“Never forget the source of power you control. Remember, you have a fire in your soul and behind your eyes, learn to grow and control it.” Tarah said in the darkness.

“Okay.” I chimed, astounded by my hidden power.

The night had reached it’s point and Xavier joined us back in the kitchen. They walked outside and talked for some time as I sipped on some water Tarah gave me.

I felt alive and my body tingling. I wasn’t ready to sleep yet. I replayed the night in my head, and gently browsed my memory of different areas in my life where I found I had an overwhelming sense of clarity.

After they have came in, me and Xavier said our goodbyes. Before I left, Tarah bestowed a fountain pen to me, she said it was made in the 60’s by an Italian artist. I thanked her and we departed.

The ride back to my dormitory was quiet. I felt content and relaxed, yet Xavier seemed uptight. I went to place my hand on his, yet he hesitantly pulled back. Confused, I asked him, “What’s wrong?”

“Lolita…” he trailed off, lost in pondering thought. I waited for him to say something. He looked over at me and by the look on his face he seemed almost lost. He then entwined his hand in mine, and lifted it up and kissed the back of my hand. “Whatever happens next, don’t ever lose the light inside you, it is undistinguishable and cannot be caged. Remember little tiger, I do not exist, only you exist.”


The bell rang which ended class. All of the kids got up and went towards the door as I slowly put my books in my bag. I always stayed late in his class to avoid run-ins with friends in the hallways and so I can also sneak in a quick kiss. After answering questions a student came up to ask, he waved me over.

I thought about the other night, whole night was so surreal, I felt like a bird who needed to fly. Eisenhower grew my wings and I’m close to flying, you’re almost there he told me. He always told me to just call him by his last name Eisenhower, the reason I don’t know, and it wasn’t until now that he told me his first name; Xavier.

It was a seductive, dark, mysterious name that made me love this man more. He was very secretive of his own Work and who he is. “I do not exist.” He told me once. I didn’t understand him, nor his gifted language. He had me read weird books written by magical people, so I’d learn of my destiny. I was already well aware of my destiny, it is to write a book. What kind? I don’t know, I might write a bibliography.

“Here, you must read this and write me a one page essay of it.” He handed me a leather bounded book. I looked it over, there was no writing on the outside of it, I opened the pages and the first words on the front wrote “The Book of Now.”

“Who wrote this?” I asked. He looked at me with those ocean blue sparkling eyes. He only looked at the book and smiled deeply, “Inamorta Clearwaters, the third star child dating back to the birth of Christ.”

“This is more then a thousand years old then-” I remarked, astounded by the hand written font and broken edges of the thick paper.

“Indeed. This you will need to know before you can go on.” Xavier said, needing nothing more to say. He’s given me books over the years to look through and make notes, now- this seems like a test. I stashed the book in my backpack and looked over at the door, seeing the students pass by in the hallways. As the second bell rung, Xavier pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

I was already growing into a mystic and spiritual magician. I’ve been meditating everyday for a few months now, and been practicing my own rituals. I felt my energy and source of inner power grow into a small butterfly, but I was not prepared to fly just yet. I must relish in the books my lover gives me first.

Leaving him, after agreeing to meet this evening, I went home to my dorm. As I opened the door, my little Leonard welcomed me with loud meows and a quivering tail. “Hey pumpkin,” I bent down and petted him behind the ear, he purred.

“Hey biatch,” I looked up and there stood my beautiful best friend Ashley, with a dress half on, “Help me zip this!”

I stood up and went to her back, helping her zip up a tight fitting turquoise dress, it looked wonderful on her, and I told her so. “Thanks.” She twirled around and showed off her dress that only came down to her mid thighs. She was a mixed mutt, half caucasian, half black. Her short bobbed fit her tiny yet filled out figure, and her hazel eyes could light a room up with its enlightening glitter. “Been with Eisenhower lately?”

“Yea, been busy with extra assignments.” I sighed and dumped my bag on the sofa. The living room we had was small but it fit a love seat and two bean bag chairs with a nice size TV and stereo system which me and Ashley loved, it was a Bose set up. The news was playing at a low volume, seems like hurricane season might be hitting us early.

“What now, is he showing you those Crowley videos?” She asked. She didn’t like the idea of any “weird” phenomenon, or really didn’t understand it. It was like any source of inner power only came from the looks she puts off and the way a first impression sticks to a persons character.

“No, more Mooji.” I insisted.

“Isn’t he that fat guy who can answer anyone’s question on YouTube?” She questioned, putting her hands on her hips. I walked over to grab a soda pop from the fridge. Yes, I said soda pop, grow up. Walking back, I sunk down in one of the bean bags. Popping open my soda, I sipped it eagerly, impatiently waiting for Ashley to go on with her silliness towards by ways of going.

“Yes. I would consider him a jolly modern Buddha…” I encouraged.

“Enough of all this wack talk, I’m going to a party, and you’re coming with me!”

“Am not.” I said matter of factly. I’m so not going to another frat party, I’d gag and fall over stupid before I meddle around with those… ungrateful-rich-petty-college-perverts. Yea. I said it.

“Oh c’mon Lola,” Ashley whimpered, making a puppy eye expression. “You don’t even have a class tomorrow.”

“I still have errands to run and an essay to do.” I argued.

“Ugh. You’re no fun…Catch ya later.” And on that note, she grabbed her purse and keys, and jetted out. Hmph.

Now, I unwind.

Turning the speakers on, I put an indie vinyl on the turntable, cranking it up high as I smoke sesh by myself.

I thought about Nothing for a moment. Not nothing, like I’m not thinking about anything, but the force of Nothing- and how it is everything. I remember reading an old esoteric book about the concept of creation, and how it branched out from Nothing. Nothing then taking the form of ‘something’ leading to the great Big Bang. How All is connected to one source- that being the Creator or The One or the Messiah or God. Nothing to me stands out as a starting place for creativity in the beginning.

I thought of how much I’ve grown mentally over the two years I’ve known Xavier. How I only called him by his last name until recently, how my writing has made him teach me more of things I never thought of knowing, and of the secret love we have for each other that I feel could last for many lifetimes.

Before I knew it the record was done playing and was casually skipping at the end. I got up and pulled the needle off the vinyl and flipped it on its backside. Dropping the needle back on, I went to lower the lights in the room and switched on the Christmas lights that were more mood setting. I plopped back on the sofa and rolled me a joint. After awhile I put an electronic vinyl on and zoned out for the remainder of the night.

Wait! I forgot about the book that Eisen- Xavier given me- of the third star child- whatever that means. I opened my bag and grabbed the thick leather journal. Opening it up, I felt a strange aura exceeding from the book, like the energy flowed through my hands.

Deja Vu engulfed my experience from then on. The words were so vague and the sentences so short. But I read on a couple of pages. I can’t tell you what was in this magickal book, but it definitely spoke to me like no other story has.

It tells of a young girl of sixteen who lives on the coast of Africa. She was raised by Egyptians who found her in the hut of a wild dog den. Hence she was made a young princess by the Pharaoh. Who called her Inamorta, which underneath a secret Order meant “wolf girl.”

She wondered about her life and traveled on a camel across the deserts alone, in search for Truth and the Light. One night as she laid asleep, she dreamt of a cloud that had lifted her up into the sky. She awoke and the camel went missing. With no sight of the camel anywhere, she continued her journey on foot. Days and Nights she traveled on foot, tired she was. As she began to lose hope and feel herself slipping, she found a small village on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea. There she met a Master, a wise man who took her in. She told him who she was, and of her journey across the desert in search for Knowledge. The wise man then laughed, and she became angry. She stood up and began to depart, but his words stopped her, “The Truth you seek is not out here in the beyond, nor in my teachings- but inside..להסתכל פנימה.” He spoke a language that was not taught to Inamorta, but when the vibrations rolled off his wise tongue, it rung in her ears for a while. She bowed down in front of him, begging him to teach her. He frowned, “I do not teach just to be listened to. What I will teach you will change the life you know and if you do not continue the Works you will surely perish a small worthless life. Continue and you will be blessed with abundance within the Light you seek.”

“Yes master!” She cried. “I will learn the ways of my own Will and continue your Work through my teachings.”


There was a soft knock on the door that broke my concentration of reading. I closed the book and slipped it underneath the sofa. I got up and opened the door, surprised to see who it was.

“Xavier.” I spoke.

“Lolita. Come.” Two simple words my mysterious English teacher spoke. I followed him out of my dorms without being spotted (because cmon, why would a teacher tell you about an assignment he forgot to mention at 10 o’ clock? Exactly; weird) and head to the far west of the campus. We didn’t hold hands in case of wondering students who are slowly making their way to the dormitories, but we walked side by side close enough for my shoulder to brush his bicep. I wondered what tonight will hold, I thought.

We both got into his 67′ Chevrolet Camaro and sped off into the night. He didn’t tell me where he was taking me, but I hoped it was something having to do with my path. “The book you gave me- it was written by Inamorta, yes?”

“She was there in the making of the book, but no, she did not write it. The Masters house keeper did, a young boy who fell in love with Inamorta who was told to write all of her story, and how she became the star that led the three kings to the birth of Christ.”

“Metaphorically?” I asked, curious.

“No,” he looked at me, shaking his head,” Quite literally.”



Hello, I am Ou. Whom I? Every. I am the narrator of the Now. You see, I tell a tale of a young soul who controls the waves of time. A reincarnated soul, the old hero of the Fotians which is a secret order hidden from modern society to protect against Melnaar- an evil force that resides in the heart of the Red Dragonfly themselves. Fotians true job is to prepare for the coming of the Red Dragonfly, to teach them of their heritage and the chaos that they must face. Through this, natural truth and order can be balanced once again.


It was a normal day in my Advanced English class ran by my boyfriend- er- Mr. Eisenhower. He was the stunning English teacher every girl whispered about. His curly dark hair was slicked back by gel, his stache and beard thick with little ginger hairs growing from the bottom of his plump lips. He had stunning cobalt eyes, dangerous to look at for too long, because you can get easily lost in them; an abyss full of mystery and dark secrets. He was a very perplex, complex yet delicate creature. I remember the very first day I walked into his class two years ago.
He looked me over once very quick and smiled warmly, but there was something more that hinted otherwise. The first day he asked the class to write as many pages as we want of what we want to be, fiction or real, powers or doctors. It was a freshman class so you know everyone would get creative as such. I kept mine simple, of course, only five pages of how I want to be residing with my consort secretly, underneath everyones noses so its thrilling to catch a hand or lay a kiss in public. The next day as he was giving all the papers back to the class, he held me back, holding my paper between his slender fingers. He looked at me over once again very quick, yet stared deep into my eyes, “Ms. Way, I wanted to announce that your writing assignment has peeked my interest, I want you to tell me more…”

I smiled and felt my cheeks get hot. Oh, how I wanted him to just take me in his arms right now, I resisted. “You hinted a lot towards a mysterious teacher, who can teach you what others cannot. What is it that you want to learn exactly?” He asked me.
“I want to grow to be a Queen of Wands.”

His eyes got wide of my hint towards a minor arcana tarot card. He got close, not too close but close enough where I can feel his breath on my skin, I looked towards the door that was a few yards away, hoping no one will come in at this moment. The adrenaline kicked in as he whispered, “Little Tiger, I see the fire behind your eyes, but do you know what it means to be taught by a wolf?”

Right then I knew I fell hard for this man. He agreed to teach me everything he knew, in secret.
And of course I had to tell my best friend.

Her name’s Ashley. She thought my affair was weird because of the age difference, but I think that’s what made it unique. He was about twenty more years my age, and he told me he was genuinely surprised of my way of expression, saying I wasn’t like other girls my age. Whenever I was younger I only had friends who were older then me so it was natural that I mirrored their way of expressing themselves.

Ashley didn’t have a boyfriend because she didn’t believe in dating. “When it’s the right time, I’ll marry a guy. Until then, they’re just boy toys.” Ouch to all the guys out there who thought Ashley was the perfect girl. She was to me, atleast- the perfect best friend. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

Besides Ashley, I had my cat Leonard. He was the fluffiest and cutest little gray tomboy anyone could lay eyes on. I had him as long as I’ve known Ashley, which was since elementary. His meow was very quirky, and guests in my dorm always awe’d when he came around. Yep, he was my little furball of sunshine.

I never knew my parents. Yes I heard they were great, astounding, award-winning people, my dad a musical magician and singer, and my mom a belly dancer and artist. My mother died while she had me and my father only raised me until I was two. From then on I was forced into an orphanage after he took on his work and here I am now, not mentally damaged at all. I always wondered where my dad ended up. If he was still in town or if he flew across the world.

One night in my junior year of college, me and Mr. Eisenhower both indulged in LSD.

What’s it like tripping acid? Well, it’s not easy to explain, but I’ll try my best. After forty-five minutes to a hour, things around you begin to breathe and shift in perception. You’ll get tracers whenever you move around, best way to check is wave your hand in front of your face. The feeling is …intense, sensation amplifies then begins to blur, and everything in your body tingles with what it feels like electricity. Everything talk-able is merely a joke and the giggles are never ending. When I tripped with Eisenhower, I swear my soul opened up. He said that its a very soul gripping experience, where you look within and a new perception emerges from your unconscious.

I felt as if my soul was blooming with static energy I didn’t know how to control, but he helped me with his source of power and experienced hands. Before, he read my palms and my tarot cards. My source of energy that I held within me needed a breakthrough, that’s when he suggested I perform an earth bounding ritual with him. He knew everything and all he told me was that I’ll be meditating, breathing, and listening inwards rather then outwards. “What else do I not know about you?” I asked, after he spoke his instructions.

“If you must know, my Moon sign is in Scorpio.”

“The same as me!” I exclaimed. Piecing together the unsolved puzzle of this man, I made another connection between us.

“I’ve seen you in a vision, little one, you were running around shift-changing; an orange Siberian tiger, how surprised I was to see how talented you are in lucid dreaming, I had met you’re future self, a Queen of Wands. You were fiery and fierce, aggressive and demanding, and you craved knowledge and power.”

“That’s… wicked.” I gasped, I remember whenever I was younger I could vividly lucid dream incredibly good. I always dreamt I was a tiger for some reason I didn’t know. It’s like he knew me before he met me…. Moon in Scorpio dreams are always very strong in unconscious meaning, people like us tend to be mysterious, loyal, yet with intense emotional needs. We like to hide back in the world until the right moment comes by, and we take it head on.

When the earth bounding ritual began, he cleared the room of its energy by lighting some candles and sage. He spoke words I didn’t understand in Latin. He gestured different hand signals and spoke towards the West, North, East, and South. When he was finished he then grabbed a small vial and twist it open. He dabbed his finger in it and put his finger at the center of his forehead, then his lips, neck, chest, stomach, and groin- doing the same to me. He then asked me to focus on a square, the symbol of Earth. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and out. I could feel my body tingle and it was a little hard to concentrate on this drug- but after failed attempts I was finally able to focus perfectly on a green square.

A few hours into the acid trip, after a few breathing exercises and energy bonding, Eisenhower grabbed my hand and brought me into his room. Candles were lit and he kissed my neck. “This part of the ritual, we’ll be igniting and combining our separate energies into one unified source.”

“Sounds riveting,” I joked, breathing in, a little nervous,”I hope not to mess up.”

“No, Lolita- you have what it takes to do this. Now, lay with me.” I smiled as he stood tall infront of me, looking at me like I was his prey. He then kissed me passionately, gently edging off all our clothes as we laid next to each other. My heart race as I felt the energy from the ritual and the acid take over; I was an animal.

“Careful little tiger, conserve your energy, you’ll be needing it later.” He whispered as I mounted him.

We closed the circle an hour later, humming with energy I was still. We gazed into each others eyes for some time, breathing shakily. He grabbed my hand and kissed it, saying, “You are the fire that ignites my lantern.”

We were five hours into the acid trip, and Eisenhower decided to order a pizza after all the effort. During the wait, we got clothed and sat in his living room. His house was very gothic, dark colors that splashed on the walls with velvet blinds that draped down covering the windows. I’ve only been to his house a couple times, the first year knowing him was only in a classroom setting.

I will tell you of my beginning.


The sun was setting. The moon rising high, I was asleep, but my other half was not.

“Hey, Lolita,” a voice whispered in my subconscious. I was in a river of India, floating down- seeing the elephants, small creatures, does and tigers amongst my journey into another world, but I began to slowly float up- out of the water- into the air.

“Wake up!”

My eyes were open, and above me was a shadow of a girl, yet I can see her dark eyes perfectly. I blinked, and looked over at my clock. It’s was 4:22 AM. Lord, I thought. What could she want?

“Stop the commotion you thinker, I have to show you something important, cmon.” She flew off me and levitated/ floated towards the door. She looked back at me, who was slowly crawling out of bed, pulling my purse off the ground and grabbing some cigs. I walked to the door, through the small living room, and out the back door. I lived in the country, so beyond the backdoor laid wooded areas aka forest.

I flipped on the back lights and what seemed like a few yards away were some type of objects floating in the air. Oh my…

“C’mon, nothing’s gonna hurt you out here.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out the back door. We ran the few yards and made it to a scene of pure… well.. magick.

Crystals that grew from rocks of different colors floated around six feet in the air. They bounced lightly mid air, leaving a note of “I am here. Don’t touch me” kind of vibe.

“What is this, Sara?”

More in the light, Sara was a short girl of 4’11”, with long dark black hair, creamy white skin and hollow eyes with round hearted lips embraced on a rounded face. She was absolutely stunning. Beside my shaggy brown hair that came down to my shoulders and my lanky 5’3″ body, I adored my olive skin and Latin ancestors.

“This is where you’re chakras are gonna be realigned with the energy of the five elements. It’ll help you get better rest in this phase of the moon,” she looked at me and grabbed my hand, and I felt a slight tingling sensation in the palm of my hand as she grasped it, “I manifested this for you, now come see, it isn’t too hard, all you need to do is cleanse your mind with some deep breaths.”

After explaining briefly of each elemental state- first to embrace the grounding of earth- I stepped in the circle and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I was walking into a static force of magick. And this was absolutely, insane and thrilling. My eyes narrowed as I faced West. I focused on the green crystal, its many shards of emerald shimmered by the moons rays.

I mumbled a quote that Sara taught me in this brief time and I stood there for a couple of moments. I did this to East, North, and South. By that time my body was buzzing with energy, and at that point I was too winded and I had to sit down.

“Wait on that Lolita, I still must invoke the element Spirit.” Sara called. I nodded, standing back up. I was a little dizzy. I watched all the crystals move upwards and closer in together, all forming a small circle above me. I closed my eyes and focused on that last element. Murmuring words and breathing in deeply.

I felt the weight of everything leave me all of a sudden, and I stood more taller then ever. I looked at my hands- palm and knuckles- feeling the source of energy in my veins.

I looked at Sara then, who gathered the crystals in a leather bag. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. It was the first time I’ve done that in this life, and the other times weren’t that great.”

“Either way, I feel, enriched.”

“That’s a good way to put it… well, go on back to sleep as I find something else to do with my time.”

I turned swiftly towards my bed, muttering “night owls,” under my breath but I knew Sara could hear it because she had crazy accurate sounding ears.

I fell asleep calmly, my mind shutting off almost instantly, and I dreamt of flying.