She was more drawn out to the belief of keeping a certain subject as broad as God in a blissful oblivion absent to thought. Nothing could be possibly known more, because it was only created. Every starting thing was made simple, yet structural. But with the branches of life and the seeds of time that dissolve through sand, we were made unique and erratic, all minds wishing upon the same desire but motioned out differently, that’s why life as a whole can be chaotic at times. We were meant to find the moments that would take our breath away, not live droned out to the dying pulse in our veins that weigh us down. It’s never possible to be the same as one, only carry the same traits and characteristics that grown on each other. It is only by the self of one that can connect like the half circle if the other self was in one. She wrote it down, trying to escape reality when she felt drowned in her thoughts, unable to word the worry or the drum that keeps beating her down. She writes to know herself and forgets often. Why does she lose thought often? It’s like the harder she concentrates more of the thought process will shaken. Maybe she’s been trying too much, maybe she has been trying too little- but she knows that isn’t what she thinks, that is what the ego mind wants her to think, all negative thoughts on the Self drains its energy, leaving the mind empty, and vulnerable to attacks, leading her astray from Self-fulfillment. The thoughts have been moving slower, as the concentration has been growing. It is only repetition that allows the mind and body to be accustomed to changes that is not yet mastered. It takes patience, and a whole lot of time. As one leads a life of light and self-enrichment, it’s only natural withinside to spread the knowledge of ones self growth and enlightened existence. There’s always effort that is put into every action, but within knowing your Self, it should be effortless.
Struggling to find a balance yet the balance is nearing closer, like a consistent circle drawn; effortless, yet not all circles come out perfectly- there will never be an outside balance, because what is a want from the outside is a wish for the ego inside. Scolding the mind, scolding internally to not sway away from the perfect line; for we were perfectly made imperfectly. Losing thought often, losing the track of balance, but thankfully acknowledging that; the path grows less narrower everyday- for everyday is a positive experience drawn out differently in its own way. We were all born as what we are; spontaneous atoms- idealists looking for truths of the unknown- creating the not thought of.