I feel as if I have so much love to give, I’ve finally opened up my bare chest, arms wide open-
Only to be blackened out by the ones who I wanted to give the most- thinking that maybe I was never wanted here, only to be made, brought up in my youth and casted out another disciple under a spiteful society.
My heart lurches out to whatever seems secondary to comfort now my necessity. My heart is black, caving itself in. My heart is patient to something so hard to grasp, time laughing in my doubting mind. Blue jays giving me a fateful hope, smoking seeds from the ground they grew. Tears being my silent token from my soul. Loud screams piercing my mind at night, soft knocks at my windows being my evil collapse, a relapse that’ll have me cold at the veins. Purple lights- I smile- as I hold a purring animal tight. Beady eyes looking at broken lies soothed deeply underneath heavens bringings.
Lay me down to sleep, closing my eyes, I whisper to a holder with shiny metal, kill it…
Piercing my bosom, I fall into a sleep, darkened arms greeting my goodbye to life.